This summer, my boyfriend and I got lost driving through Canada. And, I mean lost. No cell service, no maps, and very little knowledge of the French language.
This may sound like an opportunity for adventure, an opportunity to just throw our heads back and have a spontaneously care-free drive until we somehow stumbled upon our destination.
But, that’s just not how life works (at least mine, anyway).
Instead, it was a car ride ride filled with white-knuckled steering, tears, and pure anxiety. I was almost certain we were going to have to pull off the road 17 different times to ask for directions. Luckily, though, we never had to stop. Somehow, we did manage to get where we wanted to go.
Although it was a rocky ride (no pun intended), I’m genuinely glad that I got to experience it. In fact, I feel extremely proud every time I think of it. We were faced with an incredibly terrifying situation and dealt with it head on, despite all of the stress and tension.
I was reminded of these travels when my boyfriend and I were driving into Providence the other day. So, I jokingly said to him, “Do you remember that time we were almost stranded in Canada?”
I then proceeded to tell him that I was working on a blog post having to do with it. To my surprise, he apologized immediately. He said in the moment he had gotten overly stressed, and that now he was sorry for it.
However, there was absolutely no need to say sorry! I explained that I wasn’t looking for an apology in the slightest. My post was not going to portray the moment in a negative light, but rather, in a quite positive one. We went through an incredibly stressful time together… and we survived it! How cool is that?
No relationship, platonic or romantic, is purely made up of highs with no lows. There will always come lows. What matters is that you learn how to grow from them.
Displaying resilience and optimism within a relationship is crucial for its longevity. If you are unable to bounce back from hard times, the fun of being in a relationship begins to drain. Soon enough, it merely becomes unrewarded work.
So, why let it get that far? Why bother holding grudges or milling about in past arguments?
Whether it’s your best friend or significant other, you are going to disagree, get frustrated, and fight with them. Regardless, it is not worth dwelling over what a fight was about. What’s more important is that you were able to actually listen to one another and work through it together.
I’ll reiterate it again– no relationship is perfect. However, you shouldn’t have to squint really, really hard to see the positives.
Be optimistic, not irrational.
And, most importantly, be proud of everything the two of you have worked through together. It IS impressive.